It happened during the night as I went through my monologue in my head as I lay in my bed waiting for sleep to take me.  I had just read something that has always caused me to question and wonder at who God is.  And then I feel the frustration and the guilt over having such unanswerable and unworship like thoughts.  I couldn’t understand why God, being who I believe or who I want to believe Him to be would ever sit on a throne and let people worship him.  Now over the years I realized that my idea of this scenario is probably not accurate and obviously I am missing quite a few pieces to this puzzle.  So I filed it in the "Ask When I Die" folder and have let it be.  But again the scripture makes me wonder and go through the cycle again.  And then through my thought ramblings it came to me, I will fix this when I get to Heaven.  And then I realized the point, it doesn’t end here.  We can continue on in the next life.  What we don’t get the chance or opportunity to do here, we can do there.  Or what we miss the chance to do and greatly regret later wishing we had just one more moment to fix what is amiss, we may get there.  And for me that is a great mercy.  One that is bringing me great peace about many problems in my life.  Ones that are unfixable in the here and now.  This is also a bigger moment for another reason, I received inspiration, I received an answer, I heard the still small voice.  It has been a long long time since that has happened or that I had the faith to believe.  That thought has brought me great peace and more importantly great hope.  I am not there yet, still so much more to go to get things aright again, but I believe I can.  And that is something new.  I’m still wary, and it will take time to trust so completely again, but at least now I know that I can and will.